You may recall that in time past, I was a crazy witch. By was, I do mean that sometimes I still am, but to a lesser degree. As in, people fear a little less for their lives when I am on a tirade, rant, or other typical everyday conversation.
“Ben” came to my door today.
Yes, I am the mom around here.
Yes, you guys bothered me 3 years ago.
Yes, I’m still amazing.
Pick up your backpack so my evil dog, bless her heart, won’t rip your wares to shreds.
I swear. They give these boys a script. “You must be the mom here” is not a good way to break the ice. As you remember, from the last time this happened, I nearly decapitated the poor, pushy fellows. Good thing they sent out a rather dorky kid this time, one who is probably in a chess club and has no girlfriend. He was cheerful and polite, however, and not as full of himself as the last 2 chaps had been. He didn’t attempt to guilt or insult me into making a purchase. He did dole out the obligatory high five. It didn’t seem obligatory. He probably goes around high-fiving other chess nerds. I’m cool with that. Because I’m really not cool at all.
I think some wonderful homeschool mom in Fluvanna county must have put the fear of God in him, because when I mentioned that, being a homeschool mom, I already had the education bases covered, he realized the fight was over. He dropped a few Fluvanna co-op names… He knew he would not be making a sale.
This time I got called ‘supermom’. Something about 3, 4, and 5 years old. And homeschooling. And going to a homeschool convention every year. Also, I look a little less Bellatrix Lestrange than I did last time. And I’m about 1/3 the size. And maybe a little nicer.
He seemed genuinely impressed. I may have detected a small glimmer of recognition or respect. There is a possibility I had my ego-colored glasses on. No matter. I am an awesome, homeschool mom.
He did ask about the other kids in the neighborhood, and again, it may have been my frame of mind, but it seemed more conversational than script, and I think in other circumstances we could have geeked out over fictional characters together.