Posted in Emberleigh, Insane in the Brain, Levi, Molly, Movies, TV

Capital One

It never stays the same.  Usually there’s about a year’s worth of receipts, maybe a diaper and a bag of wet wipes, church bulletins… You get the picture.

It’s “What’s in your Bag?”

 

What's in your wallet?
What's in your wallet?

1. Wallet — If it’s fancy, maybe I can trick it into containing more money… just a thought.

2. Sony eReader — My mobile library ensconced in a red M-Edge executive case.  Again with the fancy trickery.

3. Ticket stubs from Rango — We took all 3 kids.  I think my brain fell out.  I know it did.  Wait, what do I know?  What does knowing mean?  Who am I again?

4. $1.03 in change — The kids stole the rest to feed their piggy bank.

5. Allergy eye drops — It’s springtime, people.

6. Beano — So there’ll be-no gas.

7. Benadryl — I am allergic to all but 15.678% of God’s creation.

8. Zyrtec  — *See #’s 5 & 7

9. Salted peanuts — For when the morning hates me.  And isn’t long enough.  Or I stayed up too late the night before gazing upon Dominic Purcell and Wentworth Miller.  O, and come to mama, Amaury Nolasco.  But only as Sucre…  Ahem…

10. Claritin-D — *See #’s 5, 7, & 8

11. Orbit gum — the only gum worth chewing (my children out for chewing)

12. iPod shuffle — I just now realized there are no headphones.  I am not dedicated to music. (hangs head in shame)

13. Abreva — for when life throws you that embarrassing strain of the herpes virus

14. Giant grocery receipt — My kids need to get a job.

15. Motorola i1 — We are so close, we even sleep together at night.  I think she needs a name. (suggestions?)

16. $2 Old Navy umbrella — I get excited when it rains so I can use it.  Isn’t it cute?  It jumped off the rack into my hands one day.  I couldn’t say no. (she also needs a name)

17. SoftLips — In case I run into a fantasy celebrity crush on my way home from work.

18. Cranberry ShineSensation lip gloss — *See #17

19. Reading glasses — Pregnancy destroys my eyes, then I feel so cute in them that I keep wearing them.  I’m desperate.  My eyes are my last desirable feature (*see #17)

20. Keys — House, Mazda3, and some others that I haven’t used in a while.

21. Spreadsheet for a work project — I don’t love myself enough.  Amen.

22. Keychain store bonus cards — *See #14

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I rock. I also paper and scissors.

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