It never stays the same. Usually there’s about a year’s worth of receipts, maybe a diaper and a bag of wet wipes, church bulletins… You get the picture.
It’s “What’s in your Bag?”
1. Wallet — If it’s fancy, maybe I can trick it into containing more money… just a thought.
2. Sony eReader — My mobile library ensconced in a red M-Edge executive case. Again with the fancy trickery.
3. Ticket stubs from Rango — We took all 3 kids. I think my brain fell out. I know it did. Wait, what do I know? What does knowing mean? Who am I again?
4. $1.03 in change — The kids stole the rest to feed their piggy bank.
5. Allergy eye drops — It’s springtime, people.
6. Beano — So there’ll be-no gas.
7. Benadryl — I am allergic to all but 15.678% of God’s creation.
8. Zyrtec — *See #’s 5 & 7
9. Salted peanuts — For when the morning hates me. And isn’t long enough. Or I stayed up too late the night before gazing upon Dominic Purcell and Wentworth Miller. O, and come to mama, Amaury Nolasco. But only as Sucre… Ahem…
10. Claritin-D — *See #’s 5, 7, & 8
11. Orbit gum — the only gum worth chewing (my children out for chewing)
12. iPod shuffle — I just now realized there are no headphones. I am not dedicated to music. (hangs head in shame)
13. Abreva — for when life throws you that embarrassing strain of the herpes virus
14. Giant grocery receipt — My kids need to get a job.
15. Motorola i1 — We are so close, we even sleep together at night. I think she needs a name. (suggestions?)
16. $2 Old Navy umbrella — I get excited when it rains so I can use it. Isn’t it cute? It jumped off the rack into my hands one day. I couldn’t say no. (she also needs a name)
17. SoftLips — In case I run into a fantasy celebrity crush on my way home from work.
18. Cranberry ShineSensation lip gloss — *See #17
19. Reading glasses — Pregnancy destroys my eyes, then I feel so cute in them that I keep wearing them. I’m desperate. My eyes are my last desirable feature (*see #17)
20. Keys — House, Mazda3, and some others that I haven’t used in a while.
21. Spreadsheet for a work project — I don’t love myself enough. Amen.
22. Keychain store bonus cards — *See #14