Posted in Food, Insane in the Brain

A Sandwich by Any Other Name

Sandwich: 2 slices of bread with any kind of filling between them; also, what happens when you pack lunch for the beach

Sandwitch: a very special mom who can make anything from scratch, theoretically, even from sand (wait, that’s SpongeBob)

Sandwich board: when you have so many sandwiches to make that you lay the whole loaf of bread on the cutting board; also your mom, because she decides what kind of sandwich you’re having for lunch.

Sandwich bored: when you’ve had so many PB&J’s that you’ll barf if you see another one  (also applies to ham and cheese)

Fanwich: when you really like a particular type of sandwich

Sandwhich: Subway employee’s query

Sandwish: a hankerin’ for some fillin’ slapped between 2 slices of bread

Ban’dwich: for those on the Atkin’s diet.

Bandwich: for those who’ve had weight loss surgery; also a sandwich made famous by a musical group

Bandwidth: how often you have to call your internet provider with varying levels of murderous rage  (Sorry, off topic…)

Sandwidth: a sub to make Homer Simpson proud

Sandpitch: proposing a new type of sandwich to your boss; also when a preggo gets angry and throws a sandwich because it’s not what she’s been craving

Sammich: you have an adorable 2 year old

Sanditch: you are allergic to the ingredients of your lunch

Sandditch: when you can’t finish it and you toss it in the trash

Sandswitch: swapping lunch with a co-worker at the staff meeting; also putting the food in your other hand so you can take a swig of Coke

Sandsnitch: you tattle to your mom that your brother made a mess procuring his evening snack

Sandquid’tch: so hungry after magical sports practice

Handswitch: you have to use both hands

Slamwich: don’t eat so fast.  you’ll get a tummy ache; or ‘that was the worst lunch you’ve ever made’

Sandniche: nobody makes them quite like you do; also your girlfriend.  it’s her job to make you one

Manwich: the zombie apocalypse has not been kind to you

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I rock. I also paper and scissors.

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