I am currently in the throes of morning sickness. Terrible, relentless nausea that some idiot decided to label ‘morning sickness’. It is all day–morning, noon, and night. Somehow, even God seems to think I am more capable than I really am.
We interrupt this broadcast for a horizontal moment.
And now, back to our regular programing.
As I was saying, God, Himself, seems to have overestimated me. My first pregnancy went rather smoothly. A bit of nausea, once or twice to the bathroom, an extra week at the end… all in all, quite uneventful. The second began roughly right off the bat. Levi was only 5 months old and Emberleigh was definitely an ‘oops’ baby. I was attempting to breastfeed in between frequently trips to the toilet. Living alone in a large house whilst Jim was at work, I managed to stay alive and keep Levi healthy. Not an easy feat by any stretch of the imagination. However, I did come to my senses and decide that bottle feeding was right for me. When Levi was 7 months, I weaned him onto formula. As easily said as done. However, this did not prove to be a magic cure. I ended up passed out at the doctor’s one evening due to severe dehydration. The kind physician granted me a prescription for Phenergan. Thank the good Lord! By the grace of God and the blessed medication, I struggled through the remainder of the pregnancy, including moving cross-country at the 7-month point. I gave birth a week and a half late.
This summer was to the be the unpregnant summer since I had just braved 2 summers in the Southern California heat. I bought a pass to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg. I lost most of the weight that I had gained during both fetus incubations. I bought a new swimsuit. I was feeling grand.
I am that 1%. The pharmaceutical companies warn that only 99% of those who take the pill find it effective. This is to protect them from people like me who would otherwise sue their rich, ineffective assets off. Emberleigh just turned 7 months old. I guess making it a whole 2 months further should make me happy. It doesn’t. We were planning on waiting for Emberleigh to be 2 years old before attempting to increase the size of our family. God has other plans. (Grrrrr!!) I began to feel ‘different’. Like something was up. I called the pharmacist and inquired as to the effectiveness of the current medication. I was informed that this particular pill does not work for everyone and that precautions should be taken and a different method prescribed.
Being overly worried due to the previous surprise pregnancy, I bought the 5-pack of tests an began to take one every day. The first day’s test was so barely positive that I was sure that it was merely a defective test. Being informed by everyone and their mother that “there are no false positives!” I proceed to make my way through the pack with each test being slightly more positive than the last.
Jim informed me that until the doctor confirms the pregnancy, it all nothing but speculation.
For the past 3 days, I have been progressively more nauseous. In fact, with each pregnancy, I am more nauseous than the last.
That is not speculation.