Posted in Books, Brothers, Holidays, Living Water, Movies, Oh, Baby!

Ahh, Valentine’s…

My hunny
My hunny

There are usually expectations for occasions and holidays.  What will happen, how we will feel…  Yet we all know that when we get there it’s never exactly what we thought it would be and we have the audacity to be disappointed when the fairy tale in our mind is dashed.  Usually…

Not tonight.

I have learned that I hurt myself and my poor husband when I plan a Princess movie in my head for any occasion, and then am distraught and convinced I am unloved when Jim doesn’t magically guess what it is that I was expecting, and ‘fails to deliver’.

This year for Valentine’s Day I made a decision that made it the best Valentine’s Day I have ever had.  I took my stupid, silly expectations and threw them in the trash and took the trash out to the trash bin which eventually got emptied and carried away by the trash man.


I know that my husband and I love each other.  I tell him so and he, likewise, assures me of his adoration of me.  I do not need a day to prove that to me.  It may sound like I am being jaded and sarcastic, but this is the honest-to-goodness truth with no hard feelings.  I have accepted Valentine’s Day as a fun day on which my parents give us books and candy and we eat heart-shaped pancakes.  Jim let me know he was going to take me out in the evening, which is something we try to take time to do once a week, whether it be coffee, dinner, a movie, or some combination of these.  As long as we get to hang out and spend quality time with one another, away from babies, laundry, noise, and  although I love them, yes, my family (we live with them), it is nice to be with just Jim for a couple of hours.  Dylan agreed to babysit for the evening, not a difficulty on his part seeing that he adores his nephew and niece and they went to bed shortly after we left.

It turned out to be the perfect evening.  I love going out in the evening because it means I can dress up a little, wear pearls, and put on a little extra lipstick.  After dropping Evan off at a party with his friends, we pulled away from the curb with no other thought than that we had the whole evening to ourselves.  Of course, it wouldn’t be a typical date if we didn’t have an errand to run, but even Target proved to be an acceptable detour as T.G.I. Friday’s was not ready for our presence for another few minutes.  And we went to Target together.

The Tuscan Spinach dip was delectable.  The steaks were perfect.  And we chatted like old friends.  It was like a tall glass of cold water on a warm day, a toasty fireplace on a chilly winter afternoon, or a good book on a lazy summer evening: comfortable, relaxing, perfect.

Having the rest of the evening before us, we left the restaurant and headed to Barnes & Noble where we got the best parking spot the whole lot had to offer:  the spot directly in front of the door, my door facing the store.  We sauntered through the rows of books (I could spend a week there and never get bored.) and discussed various books or pieces of literature as we browsed.  Having not previously purchased a gift for the day celebrating romantic love worldwide, Jim bought me The Host, a Stephenie Meyer novel that I have been dying to read.

Following… dessert at the Downtown Grille: New York Cheesecake for me and a Chocolate Mousse Torte for the hubby, with coffee.  I love dessert at the Downtown Grille.

To top off the evening, at Greenberry’s we sat at the seat in the window and read from the Bible together.  More chatting ensued after which we called it a night and swung by to pick up Evan and head home.

It was an unassuming outing, but to me, utter perfection.  I had fallen in love with Jim, my friend.

Tonight, I went on a date with Jim, my husband and best friend.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Love!



I rock. I also paper and scissors.

7 thoughts on “Ahh, Valentine’s…

  1. Just to let you know it is such an encouragement to hear how you threw away the whole expectation thing of the perfect fairy tale valentines day. The whole “expectation” thing and thinking everything has to be a certain way is what has gotten me in trouble in the past and I believe is what caused the breakup with my last bf. Thanks for putting that in your blog because it was an encouragement to me! I will now throw away my “expectations”. You never know how God will use your blog!


  2. You know, Phebe, that was a big realization for me in my marriage, too. I’m glad you had a good Valentine’s Day. Ours was also low-key, but incredibly awesome, too. I’m glad your day was so nice!


  3. Expectations are a powerful weapon Satan uses to come between couples. I am so glad you threw yours out with the garbage and the result was “the perfect Valentines” with your hubby!


  4. Fantastically brilliant…our favorite date in the world is dinner, Target, then lattes at Barnes and Noble. Perfection! What a wonderful Valentime’s!

    p.s. I nursed my 2 girls, for 12 months apiece…and never left them overnight until they were weaned. But once they were no longer dependant upon me, it was goooooooooooood times. Weekend getaways and such. But I loved nursing…wouldn’t have done it any differently!


Come on. Let it out. You know you want to.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s